did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
