i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
