I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
