Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
