Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
