On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
