Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
