i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
