escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
