I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
