Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
