cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
