so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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