Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
