He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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