I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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