i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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