you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
