happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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