Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize