Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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