I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
