I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
