garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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