we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize