I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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