gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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