You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
