I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
