Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
