I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize