is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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