okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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