Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
