No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
