i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize