i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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