I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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