I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
