I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
