no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
