Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
