I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
