...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
