Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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