The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
