If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
