And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
