Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize