if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Non-Jews are for practice
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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