what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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