I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
