It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
