It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
worst night to have a conscience
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
