she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize