i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
