i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
