i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
