I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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