We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize