I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
