Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
