Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
