thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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