he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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