Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
