Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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